WHY JEWS SHOULD LOVE THE RED SOX (AND HATE THE YANKS)

Why Every American Jew Should Love the Boston Red Sox and Hate the New York Yankees, the Annotated Edition By Bradford R. Pilcher (American Jewish Life) (Hat tip: Uncle Sticky)

There are five seminal moments in the history of Jewish baseball players. Four of them involve the Boston Red Sox. Only one of them involves the New York Yankees. I really think you should do the math.

The history Jewish players have with the Red Sox is only the first reason why — please sit down now — Jews should not support the Yankees. It’s simple logic. The Yankees and Red Sox hate each other, or at the very least, Yankees and Red Sox fans hate each other. Jewish players have a greater history with Boston. Thus Jewish pride demands some form of (at least) token support for the Red Sox, and any support of the Red Sox cannot exist alongside Yankee fandom.

Please do not try this. A Red Sox fan and a Yankee fan in the same body is a paradox of universe-obliterating proportions. Do you really want to be responsible for the end of all existence?

I’m offering this argument for your own good. I even traveled to the team’s spring training to meet Jewish Red Sox and bring you back their story, though that turned into an adventure all its own. Too long have Jews paid homage to the Yankees and their pinstripes. It makes sense, the center of the Jewish universe being in New York, but we should be asking, “What have you done for us lately?”

The answer is and always has been, “Not much.” In fact, the Yankees have on occasion screwed us out of our rightful due. I will explain everything to you, but first, the aforementioned seminal moments and why all Jews should love the Boston Red Sox and hate the New York Yankees: [READ ON]