IN BAD TASTE, BUT FUNNY

Sing a Song of Suicide
On Friday, the Wall Street Journal reported that Hamas was searching for a new anthem. It's Best of the Web page asked for reader suggestions. Among the most popular songs nominated was "Suicide Is Painless," the theme song from M*A*S*H (the lyrics, written by Mike Altman, can be heard in the 1970 movie directed by Altman's father, Robert; the TV series used an instrumental version):

The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
So this is all I have to say

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

Along similar lines is Bukka White's "Fixin' to Die Blues":

I'm lookin' funny in my eyes and I believe I'm fixin' to die,
believe I'm fixin' to die
I'm lookin' funny in my eyes and I believe I'm fixin' to die

Eddie Money's "Two Tickets to Paradise" evokes the 72 virgins promised to Hamas terrorists:

I've got two tickets to paradise
Won't you pack your bags, we'll leave tonight
I've got two tickets to paradise
I've got two tickets to paradise.

Of course, murder is the real purpose of suicide bombings, and AC/DC's "TNT" captures this spirit:

See me ride out of the sunset
On your color TV screen
Out for all that I can get
If you know what I mean . . .
Ain't got no gun
Ain't got no knife
But don't you start no fight
'Cause I'm TNT, I'm dynamite
TNT, and I'll win the fight
TNT, I'm a power load
TNT, watch me explode

Stephen Sondheim's "Send In the Clowns" begins with what could be a description of a suicide bombing in progress:

Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground
You in midair
Send in the clowns

Given Israel's success in targeting Hamas's leaders, Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" is a strong contender:

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

But of course, the glorification of "martyrdom" is really about killing Israelis, so perhaps Hamas would prefer Weird Al Yankovic's parody. It's called "Another One Rides the Bus."