NOW STARTING IN CENTERFIELD, YASSER ARAFAT.

Curse of the Lame Braino
The competition has been fierce, but top honors for Dumbest Analogy in a Yasser Arafat Obituary must go to former congressman and still-active Israel-o-phobe Paul Findley. Writing in the November 9 Daily Star, an English-language newspaper published throughout the Middle East, Findley wistfully recalled how the PLO chairman's "perpetually scruffy beard belied his genial, warm manner." Come to think of it, Findley added, "While watching the recent World Series, it occurred to me that Arafat would fit comfortably with the scruffy but genial Red Sox players." Except for the part about murdering Jews, presumably.

Genial but scruffy Red Sox centerfielder Johnny Damon was unavailable for comment.

Incidentally Paul Findley offered up an equally prize-worthy mot injuste in the spring 2001 when his unfortunately timed book Silent No More dubbed Osama bin Laden "one of the pre-eminent heroes of Afghans, occupying a role similar to the Marquis de Lafayette" during the American Revolution.