THE SECRETS OF EFFECTIVE LOBBYING

'America's Pro-Israel Lobbyists Are Light Touches' (NYSun)
"Like the Trilateral Commission and Freemasons, AIPAC gets blamed by conspiracy theorists for controlling everything from the U.S. Congress to the price of yak-fat futures. It's a bad rap, and I'm not just saying that because AIPAC controls the media. Based on my experience, it seems that America's pro-Israel lobbyists are, comparatively speaking, light touches. Just look at the competition. The last time our corporate brother at Fox News, Steve Centanni, was hosted by Palestinians in Gaza City, it was after he'd been abducted, forced to convert to Islam at gunpoint, and made to appear in a hostage video singing Allah's praises while wearing fruity pajamas," Matt Labash writes in the Weekly Standard.

By contrast, I was put up in hotels with heated pools and kosher sushi bars, given a really cool helicopter ride up the Jordan River, and taken to a Dead Sea spa where large Russian women kneaded our haunches with vise-like fingers still over- exercised from working the plow back in Kostroma.