ARAFAT ALIVE AND SMOOCHING?

Report: One week after his "burial," Arafat is alive -- and kissing
Yasser Arafat, widely believed to have died last week, is in fact in fine form, if a videotape of the on-again, off-again Palestinian leader from an Israeli source is to be believed. The clip, screened on the popular entertainment show "Only in Israel" (Rock b'yisrael), shows an amorous Abu Amar repeatedly kissing and embracing an unknown man in religious garb as his bodyguards and others watch. The extended smooch -- accompanied by slurping, Hebrew love-words and pleasure sounds as well as a piano sonata -- has suggested to some analysts that Arafat's death may in fact have been faked, enabling the Palestinian leader to escape his three-year confinement in Ramallah and to carry on with more pleasurable activities.

One skeptical intelligence source said that the videotape -- though not the soundtrack -- appeared to be authentic, but expressed doubt that it had been filmed in the past week, after Arafat's purported burial swarm.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW PICTURES OF LOVABLE YASSER SMOOCHING WITH ABU MAZEN, SADDAM HUSSEIN, AYATOLLAH KHOMENI, AND SHEIK YASSIN!

WHY DIDN'T BILL CLINTON THINK OF THIS? HE AND MONICA COULD BE ON A DESERT ISLAND RIGHT NOW PLAYING HIDE THE CIGAR.